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People who oppose period leaves: Check your internalized misogyny

Skipped meals, popped three painkillers (don’t recommend), almost passed out in public places, mortified to ‘Ask’ for a half-day at work – Welcome to a day in the life of a woman on her worst period day. This woman is me.

While every month my periods are nothing short of a terrifying experience, the rest of the days are spent nervously hoping that my period dates don’t coincide with an important work event or meetings. From feeling dizzy in between meetings to slamming my head down on my work desk post-lunch and just not having the energy to get up and function- guys, none of it is pretty. 

So when I read the headline “Zomato offers 10 day period leaves to their employees”, I naturally squealed like a child out of happiness, or wait, I think it was my uterus! Continue reading “People who oppose period leaves: Check your internalized misogyny” →

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The big fat Virginity myth

“Sex before marriage is just wrong”

“Your first time must be special”

“Did you know she lost her virginity to her ex and they aren’t together anymore”

Whether we accept it or not, most of our hushed, near the watercooler conversations in college and hostel dorms did sound like this. 

While today you may choose to stay ‘Woke’, by saying you are totally cool with people losing virginity before marriage, you might still feel morally superior when you refrained from it( Well, as long as you did). 

We are brought up in a world where words like “deflowering” or “popping her cherry” or “breaking your hymen” are casually thrown around, and “losing” your virginity is a big fucking deal. We, as a society, have set virginity as a moral compass to one’s character. Especially when it comes to women. Virginity or in other words, women’s ‘purity’ has been a social currency within patriarchal societies via marriage for centuries. The unrealistic pressures, ridiculous myths and expectations surrounding the conventional idea of ‘virginity’ are very much the product of norms and ideas created by us humans. Continue reading “The big fat Virginity myth” →

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It’s okay if you didn’t learn a new skill during Pandemic

You got up one fine morning like every other day, and as dystopian as it sounds, the world shut down. Who knew the song ‘If the world was ending’ by Julia Michaels would hit so close to home, right?

I get up each morning (on time, because you must) and what follows is an exhaustive to-do list, which I also call a carefully-crafted elaborate buzzkill. As I sit to work, I fill up my ‘Productivity App’ across devices to stay on track, to achieve an ungodly level of productivity so that I can pat my back as I go to bed at night for meeting the unrealistic expectations laid down by other people. (Spoiler alert – Never works, I am mostly just disappointed at the list of things I failed to achieve). 

 I, then, switch to LinkedIn and it seems like everyone is up and about with little wisdom nuggets wrapped in the promises of success. ‘How to wake up on time’, ‘What is the 5-second rule’, ‘How to ‘work smart not hard? Continue reading “It’s okay if you didn’t learn a new skill during Pandemic” →

Divya Uchil1 Comment

A Beginner’s Guide to Safe & Fun BDSM

I remember walking down the cobbled streets of Amsterdam, quickening my pace towards the ‘Sex Museum’ a few years ago. It was beginning to get dark and the red-light area was starting to light up. It was a bit daunting considering the cultural shift. We come from a country where entering a red-light district is nothing short of a criminal act. “Amsterdam was safe” I mumbled to myself as I entered the museum. I was truly captivated to get a glimpse into the lives of the sex workers there, quite a few things were pleasantly surprising. I especially remember walking into the BDSM room and was in awe of everything I saw. Some suspended stuff, floggers, canes, whips, clamps and so many more intriguing things that I didn’t even know about.  Continue reading “A Beginner’s Guide to Safe & Fun BDSM” →