I have read about you, I have talked about you and I have even befriended some sweet children of your land but I have not seen you. I don’t know what you look like. I have not played in your arms; still, I am curious about you. I am from the other side of the border, a child of the enemy as one would say, who simply wants to know what life looks like beyond these man-made borders.
How different or alike you are to your sibling, India and how do you keep up with your mehmaan-nawazi.
Dear Pakistan, will you welcome me, if I say I want to see what Hindustan looked like before I was born? Will your valleys embrace me when I come to see you? Will the Indus quench my thirst, just as Ganga does? Continue reading “A letter to Pakistan”
Naomi Klein’s anti-capitalist manifesto, the Shock Doctrine (2007), observes through decades of coups d’état, hurricanes, massacres and tsunamis, that industrial capital has used these moments of shock and awe to pull the rug from underneath the public’s feet. Neoconservative economist Milton Friedman- may he turn in his grave- used the shock of the coup that installed Augusto Pinochet in Chile in 1973 to cut social spending and renegade Chile to hyperinflation. The shock of the United States backed coup in a country that had seen a century and a half of peaceful democracy and economic stability paved the way for an economic shock with ‘the free market trinity’: privatizing industries long held by the state, deregulating finance, and cutting welfare schemes. Chile’s economy spiraled, with unemployment rising from 3% to 20% in a year and inflation hitting the roof at 375%. 45% of the country soon fell below the poverty line, although 10% of the richest Chileans became much richer. Those who opposed the junta’s brutal ‘reforms’ were hunted down with yet another kind of shock: arrest, torture, and disappearance. Continue reading “Labour Laws Scrapped, Key Industries Sold Off: How Coronavirus is Being Exploited by the Indian State to Further Crony Capitalism”
The conception of family has, for long, been a part of the debate and discussion around gender and sexuality. Family as a social unit played a significant part in determining how equality, especially in terms of preference, orientation, and gender roles is played out in the social world. Being identified as a family has remained important, especially for non-traditional families because not only does it bring a sense of personal fulfillment but also drives the process of acceptance in society.
Needless to say, the popular media has bombarded all social spheres with the most accepted and appreciated form of what a family looks like, or rather, what a “real family” should look like. We are faced with happy, cheerful portraits of traditional (read heterosexual) families on an everyday basis and we are driven to the point of believing that an ideal family consists of a mom, a dad, two kids, a dog, and a house.
Through popular perceptions, one can easily determine the fragility of this concept and can determine which families are celebrated, which ones are acknowledged, which ones are sympathized with, and which ones are frowned upon. Continue reading “Understanding Platonic Parenting: A Dialogue on Non-Traditional Families”
“Sex before marriage is just wrong”
“Your first time must be special”
“Did you know she lost her virginity to her ex and they aren’t together anymore”
Whether we accept it or not, most of our hushed, near the watercooler conversations in college and hostel dorms did sound like this.
While today you may choose to stay ‘Woke’, by saying you are totally cool with people losing virginity before marriage, you might still feel morally superior when you refrained from it( Well, as long as you did).
We are brought up in a world where words like “deflowering” or “popping her cherry” or “breaking your hymen” are casually thrown around, and “losing” your virginity is a big fucking deal. We, as a society, have set virginity as a moral compass to one’s character. Especially when it comes to women. Virginity or in other words, women’s ‘purity’ has been a social currency within patriarchal societies via marriage for centuries. The unrealistic pressures, ridiculous myths and expectations surrounding the conventional idea of ‘virginity’ are very much the product of norms and ideas created by us humans. Continue reading “The big fat Virginity myth”
The Gypsy Goddess marks a moment in history as one of the first Dalit novels written in English. Meena Kandasamy has a doctorate in socio-linguistics and her academic background is apparent in the book’s ideation of writing itself, referencing, in the most desi way possible, ‘Derrida-Shmeridda’ (39) to put the reader at ease with the postmodern novel.
Dalit prose has so far mostly emerged as autobiography. The autobiography has afforded writers from Om Prakash Valmiki to Sujata Gidla the space to be unabashed, to deploy the power of narrative to will to the fore, the lives that exist in the trenches of Indian cultural life and politics. The autobiography commands a credibility that the traditional novel cannot and which the aim of Dalit writing demands: a recognition of the writer’s truths. It is not surprising then that the Gypsy Goddess has become a novel on the condition that it be non-fiction, and be acutely aware of the trappings of forms and language, experimenting with both until the story be told justly. The novel is penetratingly conscious of the reactions of the reader: she is commanded not to abandon the book at drab details, made wary of feeling complacent or ‘woke’ for her familiarity with this small village, urged to think how her politics is changing with each passing chapter. In fact, the dialogue with the reader is the most consistent theme of the book. Continue reading “As long as Caste lives: Book Review of The Gypsy Goddess by Meena Kandasamy”
5th August would be remembered as the end of an epoch in Indian History, when the Hindu nationalist forces ‘won’ against the Islamic rule and oppression over the 16th & 17th centuries, and removed the blot from the glorious annals of the history of ‘Hindustan’. There has been a lot of criticism in the secular circles of the populace of how the BJP-led government has espoused the cause of the RSS led faction of the society over the years, touting for the return of India to the glorious days of Nehru, Indira, and Rao. The present state of order is not an outcome of a few years of political canvassing or just the demolition of Babri Masjid or the 1975 Emergency. The sovereign, socialist, secular, democratic republic of India, since its genesis in 1947, has been subjected to political ideologies, governance mechanisms, institutional lobbying, and capricious tendencies of various stakeholders. Continue reading “How Congress paved the way for communal politics & Modi’s Bharat”
Sameer is an architect. He had been in a few relationships before getting married. He recalls this one particularly abusive relationship which took a huge toll on his mental health.
“I was in a relationship with a guy who I met during my masters in Zurich. We had the same likes and dislikes and within the next few months, we were together.”
He says, “One day we went out to a party thrown by my friend. I am an extrovert, so I naturally started talking to guys around me. I talked to them, cracked some jokes. We came back to the dorm and to my surprise; my partner pushed me down on the floor. I could sense anger in his eyes. He held me by my collar and said, “Don’t you dare flirt with other guys!”
This was the first time he used physical force on me. Continue reading “Intimate Partner Violence in queer relationships: A well-hidden reality”
I’m not a likeable person. It took me a long time to understand that. Even longer still to accept it.
For years, I couldn’t fathom why. I’m a decent person. I try to be good to people. I listen, with genuine interest, when people talk. I care. I do my best to help. But turns out, all this is not enough to be the most popular person or even moderately popular person in the room. I have my flaws, just like everyone else. But I’ve tried to the best of my abilities to not hurt people. I’ve apologized when I have. I always took that as a yardstick to test myself against: I’m not doing bad things so I’m a good person. If I’m a good person, other people will like me. Right? Wrong. Continue reading “How I made peace with not being a likeable person”
It’s important to remember that unlike what you might see in movies and porn, sex isn’t always effortless and mind-shattering. On top of it, women especially in India are often led to believe that sex is shameful, which makes it harder to achieve orgasm and sexual satisfaction, and even communicate about their likes and dislikes to their partner.
There’s no single handbook to achieve great orgasms or good sex, but knowing your body better definitely is a step in the right direction. Continue reading “The truth about G-spot, nipplegasm & other things they didn’t tell you”
In the term LGBTQIA, letter A stands for Asexuality. A term that has been overlooked and misinterpreted while the people who fall under this spectrum have been subjected to ridicule and sneering. In a country where any kind of discourse & debate around sexual identities is still frowned upon, no wonder majority of us don’t understand asexuality.
There is an evident lack of awareness even among the ‘wokest’ of us. In a society where sex is romanticized and is looked at as the ultimate culmination of love and romance, it becomes challenging for people to come out as asexual. Continue reading “Asexuality is an orientation, not a disorder”