My therapist asked me to redefine love, here is my mediocre attempt at it

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Managing Editor at Moderne Magazine
A former journalist, Ananya specializes in marketing & communications. She worked with a diverse set of firms across the spectrum for six years before leaving the cobwebs of a metropolitan city for a quiet, slow life in the hills.
A depression survivor Ananya primarily writes about mental health, intersectional feminism and society.
When she is not working or traveling, she spends her days in a quaint little town of Northeast India with her husband and two cats, sipping red wine and writing poetry.
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Recently I found myself in an unanticipated, serendipitous encounter with remnants of my past; it had a profound effect on me and for a few days, I found myself questioning my entire reality and foundation of love.

My lovely therapist asked me to do an exercise of redefining love. She asked me to take a pen and a paper and write down what does love mean for me. So, here I am taking a mediocre, confused, and chaotic stab at it and sharing it with you. Ideally, this should have remained in my diary, but well.

When I was younger, love for me was butterflies in my tummy and hot fiery sex that made my bones shatter. Love was the little tingling in my hands when his fingers touched mine and it was staying up till 5 am to talk to him because neither of us wanted to hang up.

When I was younger, I mistook romance and sex for love. When in reality, love is what remains when romance dies.

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Love is Not Even Seasonal in the life of a Differently-Abled

Monthly Contributor at Moderne Magazine
Anushree is a writer/actor with an immense passion for art, culture and literature.
Anushree Ghosh
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“The wound is the place where the light enters you”

  • Rumi

Director Shonali Bose quoted Rumi in her film ‘Margarita With A straw” that is based on her own cousin’s life who has cerebral palsy (permanent movement disorders caused by brain damage). Hereby quoting Rumi, Shonali refers to the process of self-healing in which one comes out of the abyss triumphantly after going through the tough times of despair.

However, this would only happen if the external elements are stabilized and not when a differently-abled is constantly reminded of her/his shortcomings. The film gave us hope for the future of differently-abled in India but this utopia seems to be a distant dream when we take a quick glance of the real facts.

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Why is it so difficult to break up with a narcissist partner: Story of my survival

I pen down everything and anything that gives me a little bit of hope and inspiration.

My ordeal at the hands of narcissistic men started almost a decade ago, in 2009, to be precise. Even recalling it, makes me loathe the absurd amount of time I wasted wallowing in self-pity for years simply because I thought this is what ‘love’ feels like.

Walking away from an abusive and mentally draining relationship, especially with a narcissist takes more than courage and pep-talk.

Narcissism is often associated with being simply obsessed with one’s physical appearance. However, what most of us fail to recognize is, narcissism is more than just that – it is an inflated sense of self-importance and superiority that one attaches to themselves. 

I have been in three serious relationships, and the degree of narcissistic personality disorder(NPD) in each of my partners was distinctly different from one another.

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10 signs YOU are the emotional abuser in your relationship

Abuse doesn’t always result it scars, bruises and divorces. Emotional abuse can be subtle, but serious. Often the people who are emotionally abused don’t even know it because the abuse doesn’t get physical and its easy to overlook and excuse the partners’ behaviour especially at the onset of a relationship. 

Interestingly, many a times the emotional abusers also do not know that they are in the wrong. They truly believe that they know what’s best for their partners, and apply sly, even subconscious, tactics to gain control over the individuals. 

We all could have shown some of these signs, and dominated our partners at some point, but if you see a pattern, it may be time to pause and evaluate your actions and their consequences. 

Here are 11 signs that you are the emotional abuser in your relationship:

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