Self-Care Or Self-Sabotage?

Brinda's research specialty is in the geopolitical space, but she most enjoys writing about everyday life. She lives with a small army of cats and her husband, swears by the healing power of diet-coke-and-chips, and has never met a Pinterest suggestion she didn't want to try. She collects Archie comics, loves and abandons art projects regularly and is learning to navigate life with chronic illness.
Brinda B. Hamdani
Latest posts by Brinda B. Hamdani (see all)

Self-care leaves me exhausted. There. I said it!

All that talk of bubble baths and scented candles and DIY artisanal food trays make me want to crawl under the covers and never come out. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a pretty salad as much as the next person – but notice how I said ‘pretty’ salad and not ‘healthy’, ‘tasty’ or ‘fulfilling’? Because that’s what our generation gets caught up in – how things look (literally) and how they appear to others (representative of our success at adulting). Self-care, as we’ve come to popularly understand it, has started to feel like an awful lot of work to me. Continue reading “Self-Care Or Self-Sabotage?”

Eight ways to stop blaming yourself for past toxic relationship that keeps haunting you

Akanksha Sharma is Founder at Indspire Me and a cat lover. She is also a Counsellor and an avid traveler. You can write to her at for any queries.
Akanksha Sharma

Many of us have had the wretched experience of being in a relationship that, instead of adding happiness to our lives, brought us a lot of abuse, misery, and pain.

It’s that one relationship, which we can never forget, as much for the lessons learned as for the scars on our soul.

Even after years pass by, sometimes on a rainy day and sometimes after listening to an old and familiar song on the radio, we find ourselves dwelling on the hurt.

Our memories are bitter and full of imaginary recriminations; directed as much towards the ex-lover as it is towards our own selves. On good days, we are able to pull ourselves out of this cycle quickly. But on bad days, our mind starts falling into a loop of self-directed incredulity, harshness, and negative talk. As thoughts start to spiral out of control, we begin to question our judgments about people, our self-worth and even our identity. A question that we often find ourselves asking is, how did we let the abuse repeatedly destroy our entire self-worth for months and years.

Continue reading “Eight ways to stop blaming yourself for past toxic relationship that keeps haunting you”